Funny Church Signs
1. There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots,
so they put up a sign:
CHURCH CAR PARK – FOR MEMBERS ONLY, TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED!
That took care of the problem!
2. "No God – No Peace? Know God – Know Peace."
3. "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"
4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads:
"For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
7. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a sign with big red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."
8. "People are like tea bags – you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."
9. "Fight truth decay – study the Bible daily."
10. "How will you spend eternity – Smoking or Non-smoking?"
11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"
12. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
13. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
14. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
15. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
16. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
17. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."
18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ----- (U R)
19. "In the dark? Follow the Son."
20. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."
21. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."
Friday, April 17, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
In Honour of Mother's day
IN HONOR OF MOTHER"S DAY
When You Thought I Wasn't Looking
In honor of Mother's Day, Author unkonown
A message every adult should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'
~For all of the people who do so much for others, but think that no one ever sees. Eyes see a lot. Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher or friend) influence the life of another.
When You Thought I Wasn't Looking
In honor of Mother's Day, Author unkonown
A message every adult should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'
~For all of the people who do so much for others, but think that no one ever sees. Eyes see a lot. Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher or friend) influence the life of another.
How To Handle Failure
How to Handle Failure
by Rick Warren
No one’s life is an unbroken chain of victories. We all experience setbacks, defeats, losses, and failures. Nobody bats a thousand. We all make mistakes.
Since failure is common to all of us, one of the most important life-skills you can learn is how to respond to it. Mature people know how to turn every failure into a learning experience, a stepping stone for future success.
The first thing to do is to analyze why you experienced failure. Although there may be a variety of reasons – many out of your control – here are five common causes of failure:
· When we don’t plan ahead – As the old saying goes, “If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.” Proverbs 27:12 (LB) says, “A sensible man watches for problems ahead and prepares to meet them.” Remember, Noah had to start building the ark long before it started raining!
· When we think we’ve “arrived” – Remember the lesson of the whale: just when you get to the top, and you start to blow– that’s when you get harpooned! Proverbs 16:18 (GNT) says, “Pride leads to destruction, and arrogance leads to downfall.” In other words, the man who gets too big for his britches will be exposed in the end.
· When we’re afraid to take necessary risks – The fear of failure can cause failure. We worry about what others will think of us if we fail, so we don’t even try. Former U.S. football player Fran Tarkenton says, “Fear sets you up to be a loser.” We fail to take advantage of golden opportunities. “Fear of man is a dangerous trap” (Proverbs 29:25 LB).
· When we give up too soon – Many times, success is just around the corner. Remember, the game is often won in the final seconds. If at first you don’t succeed … you’re normal! Keep on keeping on! The value of a postage stamp is found in its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there. “A lazy fellow has trouble all through life” (Proverbs 15:19 LB).
· When we ignore God’s advice – The Bible is our owner’s manual for life. It is filled with practical instructions and guidelines for work, home, finances, relationships, and health. When we fail to follow these, we’re asking for trouble. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 14:12 NIV).
But remember failure is never final unless you let it be!
If you’ve experienced failure, here are some steps for starting over:
· Accept responsibility for your own failure – If you’ve made a mistake, admit it! Welcome to the human race. Don’t blame others. “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance” (Proverbs 28:13 LB).
· Recognize the benefits of failure – For instance, it shows you what doesn’t work. The great inventor Thomas Edison said, “Don’t call it a failure. Call it an education!” Failure forces you to be more creative.
· Failure prevents arrogance and egotism – If everything you did was a stunning success, no one could live with you! It causes you to re-evaluate what’s important in life. Failure is one way God gets us to reflect on the direction of our lives. “Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways” (Proverbs 20:30 GNT).
· Ask God for wisdom to understand the cause for the failure – Ask, “Why did I fail? Is there any reason I might have set myself up to fail?”
· Forget the past and focus on the future – Your past is past! It’s water under the bridge. You can’t change it so you may as well stop worrying about it.
Brothers and sisters, I can’t consider myself a winner yet. This is what I do: I don’t look back, I lengthen my stride, and I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God’s heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 (GWT)
Be encouraged!
by Rick Warren
Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways.
Proverbs 20:30 (GNT)
*** *** *** ***
No one’s life is an unbroken chain of victories. We all experience setbacks, defeats, losses, and failures. Nobody bats a thousand. We all make mistakes.
Since failure is common to all of us, one of the most important life-skills you can learn is how to respond to it. Mature people know how to turn every failure into a learning experience, a stepping stone for future success.
The first thing to do is to analyze why you experienced failure. Although there may be a variety of reasons – many out of your control – here are five common causes of failure:
· When we don’t plan ahead – As the old saying goes, “If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.” Proverbs 27:12 (LB) says, “A sensible man watches for problems ahead and prepares to meet them.” Remember, Noah had to start building the ark long before it started raining!
· When we think we’ve “arrived” – Remember the lesson of the whale: just when you get to the top, and you start to blow– that’s when you get harpooned! Proverbs 16:18 (GNT) says, “Pride leads to destruction, and arrogance leads to downfall.” In other words, the man who gets too big for his britches will be exposed in the end.
· When we’re afraid to take necessary risks – The fear of failure can cause failure. We worry about what others will think of us if we fail, so we don’t even try. Former U.S. football player Fran Tarkenton says, “Fear sets you up to be a loser.” We fail to take advantage of golden opportunities. “Fear of man is a dangerous trap” (Proverbs 29:25 LB).
· When we give up too soon – Many times, success is just around the corner. Remember, the game is often won in the final seconds. If at first you don’t succeed … you’re normal! Keep on keeping on! The value of a postage stamp is found in its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there. “A lazy fellow has trouble all through life” (Proverbs 15:19 LB).
· When we ignore God’s advice – The Bible is our owner’s manual for life. It is filled with practical instructions and guidelines for work, home, finances, relationships, and health. When we fail to follow these, we’re asking for trouble. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 14:12 NIV).
But remember failure is never final unless you let it be!
If you’ve experienced failure, here are some steps for starting over:
· Accept responsibility for your own failure – If you’ve made a mistake, admit it! Welcome to the human race. Don’t blame others. “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance” (Proverbs 28:13 LB).
· Recognize the benefits of failure – For instance, it shows you what doesn’t work. The great inventor Thomas Edison said, “Don’t call it a failure. Call it an education!” Failure forces you to be more creative.
· Failure prevents arrogance and egotism – If everything you did was a stunning success, no one could live with you! It causes you to re-evaluate what’s important in life. Failure is one way God gets us to reflect on the direction of our lives. “Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways” (Proverbs 20:30 GNT).
· Ask God for wisdom to understand the cause for the failure – Ask, “Why did I fail? Is there any reason I might have set myself up to fail?”
· Forget the past and focus on the future – Your past is past! It’s water under the bridge. You can’t change it so you may as well stop worrying about it.
Brothers and sisters, I can’t consider myself a winner yet. This is what I do: I don’t look back, I lengthen my stride, and I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God’s heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 (GWT)
Be encouraged!
| © 2008 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved. |
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Making a difference
Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, they are the only ones who ever have."
Margaret Mead
So, to those caring people out there, keep up your good work. One person can make a lot of difference.
Margaret Mead
So, to those caring people out there, keep up your good work. One person can make a lot of difference.
Friday, January 4, 2008
A Real Test of Patience at UMMC
Yesterday I went for an appointment at the Pusat Perubatan Universiti Malaya/University Malaya Medical Centre. To be specific it was the Cardiology Department.
My appointment was fixed a month ago - scheduled at 11.00 am. I got the queue number at 10.47am and was told that I may have to wait some time. When asked, the people manning the counter estimated that i may get to see the doctor at about 2.00pm. Well, it's another 2 hours away. So I went to while away the hours at Delifrance; got myself some snacks and read almost every page of Straits Times.
After that, I went back to the Cardiology Dept. It was already 1.30 pm. The clinic was even more crowded than before because patients with the afternoon appointment were already registering their turn while those , like me, from the morning slots are still waiting! Some patients, especially the senior citizens were already 'fuming'; frustrations and hunger written clearly on their weary faces. One lady who accompany her husband (who was slouched at the corner, perhaps to find a bit of solace) told me she came from Sitiawan, reaching the hospital at 7.00 in order to get an early number. My goodness! They were still waiting.
I asked the nurse, "Couldn't there be a better way than to let these poor people-heart patients- wait like these?". Her answer was that, only Thursdays are for outpatients and there're only a few doctors on duty.
I waited and waited, patience waning by the seconds. The call numbers were blaring from the speaker but mine was not heard or seen flashing near the doors. Alas, at about 3.30 my number was called. I jumped up from where I was as if I've struck the jackpot!
Four and a half hours waiting. Can't remember waiting that long ( doing next to nothing) for any particular thing. Oh yes, the last time was when I went into labour for my first child umpteen years ago!
Well, the point is, we citizens could have deserved better treatment, especially those in their golden years, after slogging hard for King and Country! I REALLY felt being cheated by the government. When I chose a vocation in the civil service, I never imagine this to happen. And this was one of the rare times I seek treatment in a Government Sponsored Hospital, as I was healthy with no major health problems besides the common cold and bolds of fever , the past 27 years in the government service.
I came home at about 4.30 pm. My mind wonders what has become of our right to healthcare , etc. SOMEBODY PLEASE DO SOMETHING. MAY GOD BLESS ME WITH GOOD HEALTH ALWAYS.
My appointment was fixed a month ago - scheduled at 11.00 am. I got the queue number at 10.47am and was told that I may have to wait some time. When asked, the people manning the counter estimated that i may get to see the doctor at about 2.00pm. Well, it's another 2 hours away. So I went to while away the hours at Delifrance; got myself some snacks and read almost every page of Straits Times.
After that, I went back to the Cardiology Dept. It was already 1.30 pm. The clinic was even more crowded than before because patients with the afternoon appointment were already registering their turn while those , like me, from the morning slots are still waiting! Some patients, especially the senior citizens were already 'fuming'; frustrations and hunger written clearly on their weary faces. One lady who accompany her husband (who was slouched at the corner, perhaps to find a bit of solace) told me she came from Sitiawan, reaching the hospital at 7.00 in order to get an early number. My goodness! They were still waiting.
I asked the nurse, "Couldn't there be a better way than to let these poor people-heart patients- wait like these?". Her answer was that, only Thursdays are for outpatients and there're only a few doctors on duty.
I waited and waited, patience waning by the seconds. The call numbers were blaring from the speaker but mine was not heard or seen flashing near the doors. Alas, at about 3.30 my number was called. I jumped up from where I was as if I've struck the jackpot!
Four and a half hours waiting. Can't remember waiting that long ( doing next to nothing) for any particular thing. Oh yes, the last time was when I went into labour for my first child umpteen years ago!
Well, the point is, we citizens could have deserved better treatment, especially those in their golden years, after slogging hard for King and Country! I REALLY felt being cheated by the government. When I chose a vocation in the civil service, I never imagine this to happen. And this was one of the rare times I seek treatment in a Government Sponsored Hospital, as I was healthy with no major health problems besides the common cold and bolds of fever , the past 27 years in the government service.
I came home at about 4.30 pm. My mind wonders what has become of our right to healthcare , etc. SOMEBODY PLEASE DO SOMETHING. MAY GOD BLESS ME WITH GOOD HEALTH ALWAYS.
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